The Life Plan

I am cynical and having some kind of quarter-life breakdown and therefore I don't have a plan.  In fact, I dont see me having children or a job.  Especially children, as today I spent a day with my mother, who is a childminder, and listened to a baby scream at an ear piercing level every time my mom was out of sight...even if the baby had caused that by bum shuffling across the floor.

What I see is a magical glass house that changes colour and texture with the flick of a button and a really hot husband.  In fact...to be honest I don't see one husband, I see different ones at different times, I just presume we'll be married because at some point I would like a wedding.

Why would I like a wedding? I want the excuse for a massive party, I want gifts and I want a pretty dress.  Primarily I want a pretty dress.  A pretty expensive dress.  Vera Wang, I have you pencilled in for this magical day that happens in a time not yet determined.  In fact, it may be so magical it's timeless and you can nip in and out of it at will.

Vera Wang Dovima and Wedding Dresses

Images as shown on Vera Wang. 

 
So, yeah..I live in fantasy.

A gorgeous friend of mine has 'The Life Plan' and revealed it to me and my little group over drinks on Monday and I almost spat my drink all over her.  She wants kids within four years, which means she needs to be married in two, which means she has to be engaged NOW to allow planning time.  This isn't a rare thing, in fact women have been known to plan wedding dates without even a boyfriend in sight as you can read here.  My problem with this?  She's 22.

Her: "I told him that we'll be having kids soon so he needs to get onto proposing but he's just sat on his arse not doing anything about his life."
Me: "Hold on a sec, you told him you're having kids soon?  If I told my boyfriend that he would say he's nipping out to pick up some milk and then boom.  I'd never see him again."

I mean this wholeheartedly.  In fact, please note technically we don't even have a label.  Let alone a life plan.  I can tell you this though, our Grand Designs style house would be epic.  And there would be no babies in it.  Babies and glass don't mix.  Think of the paw prints he'd have to wipe up... I would not be doing it.

22, 22 years ago.

When my lovely mother was 22 she was engaged to my dad.  In June 1987 they went on a holiday to Newquay with my uncle and his wife, stayed in a nice hotel and drank too much.  Then nine months later there I was.  Well...that's how I imagine it went.

 My Mom and I in Newquay when I was a little girl.

22 years later I clock it's June.  I'm 22.  I'm imagining potential excursions with a boy...and in nine months almost to the day it is my birthday.  One difference though...I'm not pregnant, nor will I be anytime soon.  So as I declared this to the boy, saying how weird it is that generations have changed as they have, he said: "But you realise we have friends that are engaged and have children."

He's right.  Turns out our generations aren't all that different.  We are actually old enough to do all these things it's just that we have chosen not to as yet.  We are grown-ups now.  How scary.  So when do you know you're a grown-up?

• When you're friends have been in relationships longer than some people who are getting married.
• When you're friends are moving in together.
• When you're friends get a mortgage.
• When you're friends get engaged.
• When you're friends have a baby.
• When you're friends get married.

This, for me though is all speculation.  I realise it but I haven't done any of these yet, people I know have.  So know do I know?

• I get annoyed when people get in my way on the street.
• I get annoyed with queueing on a Saturday in town because I can no longer go in during the week.
• I tell 12 year olds off for giggle and chucking things in the cinema because they're stopping me from watching the film.
• I tell my younger siblings off and they actually listen to me.
• I go to work 5 days a week and now see that as normal rather than a chore.
• The thought of moving in with someone isn't all that scary.
• I don't feel the need to get drunk all the time because hangovers are just frustrating and ruin the precious 2 days you have off work.
• People actually think I am capable of doing a grown-up jobs.
• I am capable of doing a grown-up job.

So I am officially a grown-up.  I realise this isn't a very grown-up post it's just all hit me in one go.  So how do I adapt to this?  Do I settle down?  Do I find a steady, career-focused job at a boring company?  Do I chuck away all my cartoon t-shirts and start wearing pencil skirts?

Naaa.  I'm still me.  Still sat here in my nightie under a blanket, both of which I've had since I was 12, because I have tonsillitis.  Definitely not a grown-up illness.  The difference is at 9am tomorrow I'll be going to work not skiving school.