The Life Plan

I am cynical and having some kind of quarter-life breakdown and therefore I don't have a plan.  In fact, I dont see me having children or a job.  Especially children, as today I spent a day with my mother, who is a childminder, and listened to a baby scream at an ear piercing level every time my mom was out of sight...even if the baby had caused that by bum shuffling across the floor.

What I see is a magical glass house that changes colour and texture with the flick of a button and a really hot husband.  In fact...to be honest I don't see one husband, I see different ones at different times, I just presume we'll be married because at some point I would like a wedding.

Why would I like a wedding? I want the excuse for a massive party, I want gifts and I want a pretty dress.  Primarily I want a pretty dress.  A pretty expensive dress.  Vera Wang, I have you pencilled in for this magical day that happens in a time not yet determined.  In fact, it may be so magical it's timeless and you can nip in and out of it at will.

Vera Wang Dovima and Wedding Dresses

Images as shown on Vera Wang. 

 
So, yeah..I live in fantasy.

A gorgeous friend of mine has 'The Life Plan' and revealed it to me and my little group over drinks on Monday and I almost spat my drink all over her.  She wants kids within four years, which means she needs to be married in two, which means she has to be engaged NOW to allow planning time.  This isn't a rare thing, in fact women have been known to plan wedding dates without even a boyfriend in sight as you can read here.  My problem with this?  She's 22.

Her: "I told him that we'll be having kids soon so he needs to get onto proposing but he's just sat on his arse not doing anything about his life."
Me: "Hold on a sec, you told him you're having kids soon?  If I told my boyfriend that he would say he's nipping out to pick up some milk and then boom.  I'd never see him again."

I mean this wholeheartedly.  In fact, please note technically we don't even have a label.  Let alone a life plan.  I can tell you this though, our Grand Designs style house would be epic.  And there would be no babies in it.  Babies and glass don't mix.  Think of the paw prints he'd have to wipe up... I would not be doing it.

Baby Talk

In complete contrast to the mass of commitment phobes are those that are becoming all serious.  You know the ones...21 with kids, slightly lack lustre engagement rings, houses and plans to settle down.  In fact one friend has it all planned out, right down to whe she'll actually get pregnant to maximise time out of work.  She's a teacher you see...plan it right and she can not only have her year but then the summer off as well.  Marvellous.  Apparently.

Needless to say, with my mind firmly set in my career and the thought of moving on rather than maintaining a relationship I've been pleasantly surprised at my reaction to new mothers.  (I must state that despite this I am currently watching One Born Every Minute on Channel 4 and cementing my desire to not have a baby.  Especially not any time soon.)

One of my most wonderful, independent friends and my more immature sisterly cousin have had children.  Within three weeks of each other.  Turns out I can listen to them talk about babies, sick, nappies, oz's of milk, transportation issues, lack of sleep and even post natal depression with vigour.  It seems not only does it take my mind off my own issues but it makes me smile to see these lovely women bloom with happiness as the motherhood makes them all mature and smiley.  Despite going against the grain re:settling down with their partners it's wonderful.  Turns out babies can be wonderful creatures after all (until they're sick on my new top and coat though...lovely dry cleaning bill coming my way)  and some young moms are pretty fantastic.

I was right on the body front though.  Sagging stomachs that won't go away do not increase confidence.  Luckily though there are some fantastic maternity clothes that can be worn for yonks after the baby's born.  Even Topshop are on the wandwagon (they have been for ages but it's surprising when you see it's not tat) producing not only clothes for mom but baby too.  In fact I'm sat in a cheap and cheerful maternity dress now, belted tightly at the waist.  I just thought it was supposed to be oversized...no clue it was maternity.

Oh and I'm going to be a god mother for the fourth time.  Turns out they see something in me too.  Who knew?  Maybe it's my ability to buy fantastic gifts and nothing to do with maternal instinct.