The other day I gave a last attempt at making a university friend actually reply to my messages. This may sound rather psychotic but it's pretty simple...things were weird with us when we left university and we buried our heads in the sand. I didn't want to lose her forever for no bloody good reason.
Turns out she thought I'd changed when I thought she had... stress of university? Addition of a new boyfriend taking up more time? Maybe it was actual change? The last worries me most because that we can't really fix. They say a leapard can't change it's spots but I definitely believe they can evolve to look slightly different. If this is the case maybe if/when we finally meet again it'll just be odd still.
God I hope not. In my mind we'll go for buffalo chicken wings, a cocktail or maybe a strawberry milkshake...dependent on where we are. A leapard can't change it's spots but with all this cosmetic surgery around I'm sure someone could. If we can change maybe we can change back. Maybe we'll evolve together to fit once more.
Relationships of all kinds are stressful but relationships with friends are the most important. You don't break up with friends. Maybe I should send her flowers and chocolates...boyfriends get away with that as apologies right?
I'm sorry if I changed, I didn't mean to, I still love you...as always xxx
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Saturday, 24 October 2009
Sunday, 4 October 2009
A change is coming...
Last night I put on my big red coat. This, to me, is the sign that winter is coming. At this time for the last three years I have been at university in Preston, my best friend Katie has been hundreds of miles away down south and my boyfriend has been a couple of hours across the Pennines in Leeds. Now my best friend is a mere 10 minutes away, my boyfriend is technically not my boyfriend any more (though still in Leeds) and I am at home. At my family home that is, not the home I made with my friends in Preston.
For anyone who left university this year change is coming and not just in terms of the weather. Though change is not just for us graduates. My dad is 'growing up' and realising that he doesn't want to be alone (his girlfriend is moving in), not one but two of my older cousins are re-evaluating how they feel about having children (both are now beginning the process of trying for a child), whilst Katie has realised her intellectual potential through creativity and is taking steps through a degree to become an art therapist.
It's rather hard for me to see all these people making steps towards a future when I feel in limbo. I'm rather uncertain as to where I want to be, who with and what to do about it. I always said when I left university I would move away, get experience and definitely not do a masters for a few years. As it is a masters suddenly seems safe, after all I'm used to being in education, and being at home surrounded by my family doesn't seem like a bad thing. Essentially though it is time to do something to make a career and a life for myself. I'm beginning to realise it doesn't matter where I do that or by what means as long as I embrace the change that is to come. I think King Whitney Jr. was right when he said: "Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better." For me, it's time to get inspired.
For anyone who left university this year change is coming and not just in terms of the weather. Though change is not just for us graduates. My dad is 'growing up' and realising that he doesn't want to be alone (his girlfriend is moving in), not one but two of my older cousins are re-evaluating how they feel about having children (both are now beginning the process of trying for a child), whilst Katie has realised her intellectual potential through creativity and is taking steps through a degree to become an art therapist.
It's rather hard for me to see all these people making steps towards a future when I feel in limbo. I'm rather uncertain as to where I want to be, who with and what to do about it. I always said when I left university I would move away, get experience and definitely not do a masters for a few years. As it is a masters suddenly seems safe, after all I'm used to being in education, and being at home surrounded by my family doesn't seem like a bad thing. Essentially though it is time to do something to make a career and a life for myself. I'm beginning to realise it doesn't matter where I do that or by what means as long as I embrace the change that is to come. I think King Whitney Jr. was right when he said: "Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better." For me, it's time to get inspired.
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