Friday, 18 September 2009

"I don't like the person I have become."

I answered the phone today and was greeted by a very lonely voice.  Of course my friend assured me that nothing was wrong...for 20 minutes.  Then she admitted to viewing her ex boyfriends Facebook.  His comment in regards to becoming single again: "Shit happens."

Clearly yes, shit does happen...often in the form of Facebook.  In the dating world Facebook can be the answer to all your prayers or the worst hell imaginable.  I cannot count the number of people...ok lets be honest women...that have declared Facebook to be the devil.  For several reasons in particular:

1. Everyone knows, and usually comments, on your breakup when "Single" pops up by your name.  What's worse is that at one point that was accompanied by a broken heart, I'm not sure that still happens.  I believe Facebook realised the cruelty in this.

2. You are, of course, friends with your ex and can then see every event, link, wall post or picture that comes up.  Therefore you can see that they're having a good time without you.

3. Pictures of your ex boyfriend with a new girl appear...often accompanied by funny funny people commenting things like "Awww."  For your information when you are also friends with his ex girlfriend this is not fucking wise.  In fact, girls have been known to become overwhelmed with nasty thoughts about girls they previously loved.

4. Suddenly your ex is in a relationship with someone else.  'Luke Smith is now in a relationship with Sarah Taylor" (also known as 'that girl' by many) pops into the news feed accompanied by a picture of the happy couple.

Argh.....and if that isn't enough to make almost every girl want to tear their hair out (even if they no longer like this boy) many girls begin then to dislike themselves.  A dear friend of mine, who was always completely secure in herself, admitted to losing who she really is.  This is not a rarity.  These aspects can make a girl jealous, insecure, unwanted, generally massively screwed up.  The reason for this is be unhappy without a boyfriend is not a good way to be.  Suddenly you're the girl you poked fun at whilst at know the one, they go one boy to the next or constantly crying when drunk and running out of parties.

So on the phone she declared: "I don't like the person I have become.  This girl isn't fun, she mopes around, she's either a recluse or shes blindingly drunk.  I don't like this girl, she's not who I want to be."  Well I'd like to say I have a solution but I don't.  One thing I do know is that in a break up Facebook is pretty evil.  So don't look at his Facebook, don't go on Facebook at all or even delete your account if it's causing that much trouble.  Just please God don't sit looking at that broken heart, at their smiling faces or his friends comments about how wonderful things currently are.  Go cold turkey and get back into the real world.  Especially if you're friends with me...because with a phone calls notice I can be waiting with some chilled white wine and a spare bed for sleepovers after a night out.

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